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The Power of Saying NO

Marianne Mencias | June 21, 2019

“On Second Thought” The Power of Saying No to Self, Holding Back, and Making Better Decisions before we act! 


In a gist we have learned that processed thought is better than the impulsive thought. Joyce Meyer once said, when the thought comes from the devil, it is a temptation to sin or to be less than who we are, but when it comes from God, it is inspiration to be holier, to be more than who we are.

Anthony mentioned a book called 3 Seconds: Power of Thinking Twice by Les Parrott and I am so looking forward to devouring this book too. Basically it says it takes 3 seconds to make a wiser decision and the choices we make contribute to the overall fabric of our lives. When push comes to shove, first impulse is to say “Whatever!” but given 3 seconds, it can lead us to “Whatever it takes…”

In every moment, we either give in to fear or we choose to walk by faith.


6 Principles of Thinking Twice

1. Ask yourself when do you usually react? How do you react? (when you act impulsively and not think twice) How do you act by impulse?

Ex. Opening apps impulsively, browsing social media incessantly, shouting, getting angry quickly, acting out of lust, saying yes all the time to please people  (we do this for higher self awareness, to catch ourselves quickly; “what you can name, you can tame”)

When you struggle with Superman/Superwoman Syndrome/Being a Yes Man/Yes Woman:

Please remember a need doesn’t always constitute a call. Not every need should be acted upon by you. I learned from Rick Warren, if it’s not your gifting and someone else can do it better than you, let them do it. Only when there is no one else can do that important thing except you, that’s when you actually do it. Sometimes we get too tired because we do things God isn’t even asking us to do.  Pray for wisdom, pray for discernment, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

2. Open your life to the benefits of saying NO!

Based on study, kids who are able to say no:

  • Have more self control, are more self sufficient
  • More responsible and enjoy being good
  • More self confident
  • Their yes is a yes and their no a no
  • More successful in business
  • More consistent

Ask yourself what’re the benefits of saying NO:

Here are mine:

  • Better relationships because I am not saying an external yes with an internal no but a REAL YES coming from an overflow of love (an internal no nullifies an external yes)
  • Save time
  • Enjoy time, I am fully present in the things I say yes to
  • More self-respect
  • Better witness to Christ


3. Let the consequences speak for themselves

Discipline your children, for in that there is hope, do not be a willing party to their death. (Proverbs 19:18)

Children will end up unhappy and they will suffer when they’re not trained to have self-control, to say no to things that will not be good for them in the long term.

It kills me when I hear of parents who lead their own children to a sinful environment or to a sinful life by their own example. That’s why I am so passionate in ministering to single people to be whole and happy on their own first and not let the void of emptiness within them be filled with raw romantic relationships, because when they become parents, their children need them to be a good role model, to be God representatives in their lives. We will never be perfect, but there’s a certain level of maturity required to be a parent.

But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18:6)

Lack of control leads to death:

  • Damaged friendships, broken hearts, wasted lives
  • Inability to say no, Failure to hold back, Insistence of expressing here and now
  • Let’s go for decisions that have been reflected upon and prayed through.
  • Our choices can either lead us to regret or rejoice

Ask ourselves often: did I give life or was it death?

4. Don’t ever doubt you can make it happen

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)

Have it today, lose it tomorrow if you don’t abide in God (here’s another resource that can help you:

I advise you to obey only the Holy Spirit’s instructions. He will tell you where to go and what to do, and then you won’t always be doing the wrong things your evil nature wants you to. Galatians 5:16 (TLB)

We do it, one day at a time. Holy Spirit will give us the ability to overcome.

If there is a Free will there is a FREE WON’T

Will power vs. Won’t Power

5. Individual initiative will kill you

22 Run from anything that gives you the evil thoughts that young men often have, but stay close to anything that makes you want to do right. Have faith and love, and enjoy the companionship of those who love the Lord and have pure hearts. 2 Timothy 2:22 Living Bible (TLB)

Don’t fight temptations. Run away from temptations.


The verse above is the kind of spouse singles should be looking for: Person who makes them do what is right, have Christ in their hearts and walking with others who love the Lord;  remember it is very hard to walk together if the person doesn’t have the Holy Spirit within them. You will be in opposing directions.

6. Thrive with self control in obedience and in the power of the Holy Spirit

 Jesus responded, “My time of being unveiled hasn’t yet come, but any time is a suitable opportunity for you to gain man’s approval. John 7:6 The Passion Translation (TPT)

Jesus obeyed the leading of the Holy Spirit, not the approval of man.

For the word of God is living and active and full of power [making it operative, energizing, and effective]. It is sharper than any two-edged [a] sword, penetrating as far as the division of the [b]soul and spirit [the completeness of a person], and of both joints and marrow [the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and judging the very thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 (Amplified version)

The Holy Spirit is in the word, that’s why everyday let’s take time to read the word, could be through devotionals, full tank of Bro. Bo, Gospel Readings App, pray for what will best guide you because your own brain and heart cannot discern properly

Acronym of the 6 Principles of Thinking Twice:

H.O.L.D. I.T!

How do you react?

Open your life to the benefits of saying no!

Let the consequences speak for themselves

Don’t ever doubt you can make it happen


Individual Initiative will kill you.

Thrive with self-control in obedience and in the Power of the Holy Spirit  

Again, I thank Anthony for being so generous with His wisdom and even feeding us with the best during bible studies. May God continue to be glorified in your life! We love you.

May God’s love, light and joy fill your heart always,


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