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“On Second Thought” The Power of Saying No to Self, Holding Back, and Making Better Decisions before we act! 

 

In a gist we have learned that processed thought is better than the impulsive thought. Joyce Meyer once said, when the thought comes from the devil, it is a temptation to sin or to be less than who we are, but when it comes from God, it is inspiration to be holier, to be more than who we are.

Anthony mentioned a book called 3 Seconds: Power of Thinking Twice by Les Parrott and I am so looking forward to devouring this book too. Basically it says it takes 3 seconds to make a wiser decision and the choices we make contribute to the overall fabric of our lives. When push comes to shove, first impulse is to say “Whatever!” but given 3 seconds, it can lead us to “Whatever it takes…”

In every moment, we either give in to fear or we choose to walk by faith.

 

6 Principles of Thinking Twice

1. Ask yourself when do you usually react? How do you react? (when you act impulsively and not think twice) How do you act by impulse?

Ex. Opening apps impulsively, browsing social media incessantly, shouting, getting angry quickly, acting out of lust, saying yes all the time to please people  (we do this for higher self awareness, to catch ourselves quickly; “what you can name, you can tame”)

When you struggle with Superman/Superwoman Syndrome/Being a Yes Man/Yes Woman:

Please remember a need doesn’t always constitute a call. Not every need should be acted upon by you. I learned from Rick Warren, if it’s not your gifting and someone else can do it better than you, let them do it. Only when there is no one else can do that important thing except you, that’s when you actually do it. Sometimes we get too tired because we do things God isn’t even asking us to do.  Pray for wisdom, pray for discernment, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

2. Open your life to the benefits of saying NO!

Based on study, kids who are able to say no:

• Have more self control, are more self sufficient
• More responsible and enjoy being good
• More self confident
• Their yes is a yes and their no a no
• More successful in business
• More consistent

Ask yourself what’re the benefits of saying NO:

Here are mine:

• Better relationships because I am not saying an external yes with an internal no but a REAL YES coming from an overflow of love (an internal no nullifies an external yes)
• Save time
• Enjoy time, I am fully present in the things I say yes to
• More self-respect
• Better witness to Christ

 

3. Let the consequences speak for themselves

Discipline your children, for in that there is hope, do not be a willing party to their death. (Proverbs 19:18)

Children will end up unhappy and they will suffer when they’re not trained to have self-control, to say no to things that will not be good for them in the long term.

It kills me when I hear of parents who lead their own children to a sinful environment or to a sinful life by their own example. That’s why I am so passionate in ministering to single people to be whole and happy on their own first and not let the void of emptiness within them be filled with raw romantic relationships, because when they become parents, their children need them to be a good role model, to be God representatives in their lives. We will never be perfect, but there’s a certain level of maturity required to be a parent.

But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18:6)

Lack of control leads to death:

• Damaged friendships, broken hearts, wasted lives
• Inability to say no, Failure to hold back, Insistence of expressing here and now
• Let’s go for decisions that have been reflected upon and prayed through.
• Our choices can either lead us to regret or rejoice

Ask ourselves often: did I give life or was it death?

4. Don’t ever doubt you can make it happen

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)

Have it today, lose it tomorrow if you don’t abide in God (here’s another resource that can help you: https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/what-does-it-mean-to-abide-in-christ

I advise you to obey only the Holy Spirit’s instructions. He will tell you where to go and what to do, and then you won’t always be doing the wrong things your evil nature wants you to. Galatians 5:16 (TLB)

We do it, one day at a time. Holy Spirit will give us the ability to overcome.

If there is a Free will there is a FREE WON’T

Will power vs. Won’t Power

5. Individual initiative will kill you

22 Run from anything that gives you the evil thoughts that young men often have, but stay close to anything that makes you want to do right. Have faith and love, and enjoy the companionship of those who love the Lord and have pure hearts. 2 Timothy 2:22 Living Bible (TLB)

Don’t fight temptations. Run away from temptations.

Have a NOT TO DO LIST.

The verse above is the kind of spouse singles should be looking for: Person who makes them do what is right, have Christ in their hearts and walking with others who love the Lord;  remember it is very hard to walk together if the person doesn’t have the Holy Spirit within them. You will be in opposing directions.

6. Thrive with self control in obedience and in the power of the Holy Spirit

 Jesus responded, “My time of being unveiled hasn’t yet come, but any time is a suitable opportunity for you to gain man’s approval. John 7:6 The Passion Translation (TPT)

Jesus obeyed the leading of the Holy Spirit, not the approval of man.

For the word of God is living and active and full of power [making it operative, energizing, and effective]. It is sharper than any two-edged [a] sword, penetrating as far as the division of the [b]soul and spirit [the completeness of a person], and of both joints and marrow [the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and judging the very thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 (Amplified version)

The Holy Spirit is in the word, that’s why everyday let’s take time to read the word, could be through devotionals, full tank of Bro. Bo, Gospel Readings App, pray for what will best guide you because your own brain and heart cannot discern properly

Acronym of the 6 Principles of Thinking Twice:

H.O.L.D. I.T!

How do you react?

Open your life to the benefits of saying no!

Let the consequences speak for themselves

Don’t ever doubt you can make it happen

 

Individual Initiative will kill you.

Thrive with self-control in obedience and in the Power of the Holy Spirit  

Again, I thank Anthony for being so generous with His wisdom and even feeding us with the best during bible studies. May God continue to be glorified in your life! We love you.

May God’s love, light and joy fill your heart always,

Marianne

My sister recently gave birth to a baby girl!!! And this is quite a celebration for our family because this is the 5th child of my ate and all the ones before are BOYS!!! Trivia: all their names are Bible or Faith based and their second names are all cars. Because their dad’s name is Ford and they’re in buying and selling of cars and trucks. It’s funny because the resorts they go to really remember them, apart from the fact that they’re so adorbs and friendly too! So my nephews names are Audi, Ferrari, Bentley and Maserati. Now that they have a girl, guess what her name is? Porsche!!! <3

Anyhoo, this is the second time my sister gave birth and I was asked to look after the babiest of them all. Last time I looked after Bentley but now I am assigned Maserati or Mati. I was looking forward to it but also a bit dreading because it is the first time he is staying with me. The long night began.  

Mati had a hard time sleeping and kept crying out to Daddy and Mommy. He would fall asleep only to wake up and cry again. At one point, I almost gave up. As expected, I didn’t get any decent sleep because I’m paranoid he might not be able to breathe or his other kuya beside him might sleepkick him. So every time he’d wake up, I’ll rockabye him back to sleep and you know finally I found the secret to succeeding in this almost lost endeavor. I believe this actually relates to success in life too. I naturally think this way, pardon me.

So here goes my strategy:

1. I sang him songs and declared what I wanted to happen: “Mati is having a great sleep. Mati will wake up smiling in the morning.” Wadoyouknow, he fell asleep to my song hallelujah and not only that, when he woke up, he was smiling and instantly playing with me!
2. I kept praying “Lord, please give me unconditional love. Please give me unconditional love.” You see, sleep is life to me and I can get cranky if I don’t get to sleep well so I needed extra grace to be an extra loving tita during this time. I am amazed with the patience God injected in my heart, I didn’t complain or anything and God is so gracious because I was able to make up for lack of sleep the following morning. I still had a great energized day!
3. I imagined him sound asleep. Our imagination goes a long long way guys, it is a superpower given to us by God.

So what am I trying to tell you? When you want to accomplish something, and you know you are there for the noblest of intentions, declare out loud with your words what you want to happen. God created the world by declaring “Let there be…” and He made you His child created in His image and likeness right? Therefore He gave you power to create your reality through your words. I encourage you to write your dreams in the PRESENT TENSE and read it with feelings every day! And don’t forget to add, Lord, this or better, because Your will is always THE BEST!

When you are running out of good feelings, most especially love, remember the Source of all love is right by your side so ask it from Him. Just make sure you are exercising love with wisdom.

Pareng Albert Einstein once said: “Imagination is better than knowledge.” And I believe him! Our world moves forward with limitless imagination and courageous action. Imagine yourself having the best day, imagine yourself in your old age, say 96 years old, with a big fat smile on your face reminiscing a great life lived and lots and lots of people loved. Imagine meeting God and Him telling you, “I love you and I am so proud of you. Thank you for living up to the potential I placed within you. Thanks (nag thanks (shortcut) talaga si Lord?!) for bringing down heaven on earth.”

Hope this post blessed you and people you love! Keep believing and living the best that has been entrusted within you!

There were political candidates with the noblest intentions but did not win. There were those who only want to use people for more power and wealth but won. There is that tendency to cast a vote that is ultimately not good for us, long term wise. And it is very sad this doesn’t happen during elections, we cast a vote every single moment of our lives. And it’s an obvious choice to go for the good, but we sometimes choose what will eventually harm and hurt us in the end.

Every moment is a moment of choice. Every moment we are given the chance to vote, will it be short-term pleasure or long term happiness? Will it be the plans of the devil or God’s plans?

I can’t help but find an alignment, the politicians who just want to use people lure them with pleasure, isn’t the devil the same way? I am not saying these people are evil, but when people don’t allow themselves to be loved and transformed by God, they can very well be the puppets of the devil, being used by him to destroy lives of others. The devil says- engage in pre-marital sex, go the route of gambling, drink your problems away– short term, band-aid solutions to that aching emptiness in one’s soul. Dirty politicians give people instant money and tell them vote for me, see my way easy and instantly pleasurable!

Voting for God’s will isn’t always easy. It is going against the tide, against the popular vote. There is that threat of being looked down on, being judged as goody- goody or being bullied by society for being a Jesus freak. It’s choosing chastity because you truly want to love your future spouse and want his clarity of mind in choosing you, it is choosing excellence than mediocrity, it is choosing to act now rather than procrastinate. It is choosing to be kind rather than lash out on others. It is not easy, it requires more from you, it takes time and effort, but you are made for so much more so why settle where you are? Why keep making the same vote that’s getting you nowhere? You know, I couldn’t think of anything else that transformed me, my heart and my choices for my real good than following God’s Will, Word and Ways. I haven’t found this much joy than when I developed a relationship with God. It is true, we are made for Him- to be loved by Him and to love Him back.

I hope that this short blog will remind you to vote wisely for your life. Yes, we all want change in society and the government holds a very important role and responsibility in making that happen. But truth be told, you hold the greatest power in your life. And when you are making healthier choices, when you are casting that vote to obey God, it cannot help but ripple to people closest to you, and without you knowing it, it is changing all of us for the better.

So how do you choose and vote for God’s will everyday? First, receive His unconditional love for you. Do not doubt it, just receive His grace and forgiveness. Imagine Him looking at you with so much love and pride as a Father, knowing who you can become when you allow Him to mold you. Second, read His Word and obey what He tells you. Listen for His voice in your heart and ask for the Power and Presence of the Holy Spirit follow His leading. Third, serve others by doing what you do best and what you enjoy the most. God is not KILL JOY. He wants your happiness more than you do. He knows you more than you know yourself. He knows what you exactly need, not just now, but what will be good for you forever.

Like a good politician, He has long term plans for your good, He has considered all the aspects of your life, He wants it all improved, He wants your progress, He has lined up the right connections to help you out. Fourth and last is always decide out of your truth, and what is that truth? You are God’s Beloved Child, created after His image and likeness. Therefore your truth is love, peace, joy, honesty, self-control, gentleness and all good things. Stop letting the devil deceive you. I pray you let God win in your life, because every time you do, it’s not just you who experiences victory, we all do.

Hey, I want you to start voting wisely for your life and I can’t even begin to tell you how important knowing your purpose is to direct your choices and be your compass. I want you to have that kind of energy that comes from living your passion and I want you to infect others with that energy. I am blessed to have found my purpose and because it is making me very happy, I can’t help but share the secrets I’ve unearthed because I truly want you to live yours too! On June 15, Sat, 2-6PM, I have revived my workshops on purpose and created MASTERPIECE MOVEMENT. It is to help you get in touch with your truths and discover your strengths. It comes with food (haha), strengths finder assessment, e-book, customized results, manual and coaching during the session. Essentially, it is all about knowing your calling and owning it. I really hope to see you there. Please click to register.

We are ending the month! How was the first month of the year for you?
Hope you are treating yourself right, getting enough sleep and rest + working
on things that are really important and fulfilling to you! Here’s the last
installment of my 2018 lessons 

13. Be kind to yourself. This is of utmost importance. How do you see
yourself? What are the things you are saying to yourself? Do you always blame
yourself? Do you judge yourself? This 2019, please see all the things you
do right. Magnify them. Forgive yourself quickly when you know you’re
doing your very best because you will still make mistakes, being a limited
human being. Have daily verbal affirmations. Mine is “I am God’s
Masterpiece. God celebrates me. He is proud of me.”

14. Everything God is asking me to do, even when it’s inconvenient to
me, extending generosity in time, talent, and treasure (without
expecting anything in return) is actually a gift to myself. But it takes
time to get to the gift so I grow in character first. It’s AMAZING!!! When I
wrote my first book, I thought I was doing it for God and others, that was
my intention, but then the book blessed my life in ways beyond I could
imagine. I met amazing people, brought me to places, led me to more
truths, blessed others in living their purpose. Again, never hold back in
being generous to God.

15. Treat your YES as very precious because you are very precious to God
He doesn’t want you throwing away your energy, your heart, your peace,
your time just like that.

16. Before I ask for more influence, question is, am I caring for the
influence God has given to me now?

17. Once it has been decided on, then don’t keep going back to it. Second
guessing yourself is a waste of time.

18. People aren’t your enemies, some people are just acting on behalf of the
enemy because they’re not deeply connected to God. Instead of thinking
of revenge and hating on them, pray to God to heal them, love them and
for you to extend His love to them, in ways He’ll reveal to you.

This 2019, I pray we will relax more, knowing we are on God’s palms, safe in His
care, with a future so blessed by His love. Be brave with your life, because God is
with you everywhere you go.

Hi! How has 2019 been treating you so far? Mine’s been okay, I have been happy except for being sick so I commit to caring for my body more this year. I tend to get so excited when I feel okay and then my body couldn’t catch up anymore. I declare this is the last time I am sick this 2019!

Before I share with you the next 6 lessons, allow me to share with you a fun resource I got from the last meet-up I had with Bro. Bo, He helped us plan for 2019! And the first activity was going to this website, praying for our word for the year, and then it generated the word for us! Woohoo! My Word is FLY. (That’s why I am including my picture at Movieworld where I felt like flying) May not be the most flattering picture, but who cares? I am here to FLY with God propelling me and fly I will. Who cares if I will look ridiculous, hahaha!

What’s your WORD? www.wordoftheyear.me
Share it with me here! https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs_-SOjls6j/

Okay, here are my next 6 lessons I learned from 2018.

1. Always connect to the Holy Spirit. I’ve a friend who once told me “I feel you are so One with God, you are so connected, how do you do it?” Of course, what a compliment that was! (knowing how imperfect I really am, but I know it’s the Holy Spirit working wonders in me) I told her “while I’m talking to you, I’m talking to God too, invoking His Holy Spirit to speak through me whatever He wants me to say to you.” I’ve a friend who asked me recently how I stay grounded, I guess this is precisely how. In all my speaking engagements, I never create a talk without asking for the Holy Spirit to help me, I never go on stage without asking Him to speak through me. I can’t help but imagine how beautiful our world will be if so many people activate the Holy Spirit living within them and act on what He tells them to do. Maybe we will all glow differently.

2. God is your defender. So so so many times last year, God spoke to me and told me “The battle is not yours, it is mine.” If you know your decisions are based on God’s truth, even if it’s so hard, even if people don’t understand, keep obeying, always choose Him and He will bring you to a place of immense peace and joy. Even people who are mean to you will suddenly be kind to you.

3. Jesus is the Prince of Peace. I had a challenging moment last year and though difficult I acted on what God is speaking to my heart. It always pays to obey. When I woke up the following morning, I felt immense peace surrounding me, enveloping me. It was an unbelievable feeling. It was like being transported to heaven. When I read the gospel app for that day, you know what was written? “Jesus is the Prince of Peace.” Hallelujah right?! That’s how I knew all the more He is after what’s best for me, all the time. I only have to obey and trust. Trust and Obey. Repeat.

4. Relationships first. I have been blessed to know my calling and purpose but sometimes it can still be a trap of the devil to pull me away from even greater things like love and relationships. Because I love what I do, sometimes I prioritize it more than spending time with people closest to me. One time, I was so excited to do something and right at the same time, my parents were about to eat dinner. I decided to put them first and you know, we had one of the most meaningful conversations we’ve ever had last year. We talked about what we learned in 2018, what were praying for in 2019. Yes our purpose, passions and career are important but in the heart of God, loving Him, ourselves and others matter most.

5. Just do it! Nike’s campaign is really brilliant. If you feel in your heart God is asking you to do it, then just go for it. Face the fear head on. I didn’t want to do vlogs or Instalive but I felt God’s leading so I did it and it made me so so so so happy! What brave thing is God asking you to do this 2019? Or what brave thing has He been asking you to do for years now but you still haven’t done? Maybe you heard right. Maybe you didn’t. But when you know your intentions are good and you’re not disobeying God in any way, then JUST DO IT, either way, you grow and learn.

6. How others perceive you is none of your business. So much stress will fly out the window when you know this truth. Sure, care for people, bless them. If they respond positively yahoo, if they don’t, still celebrate! You will never ever regret being kind. One thing that has helped me a lot is that when I’m facing a person, I pray to God “Help me show Your love to this person.” Freedom from self is the best feeling of all. Though, I am still a work in progress. But what God began in me, He will complete. And that is true for all of us.

1. “God is your light.” This was a simple message sent to me by my mentor
Bro. Bo Sanchez. And how true it is! I’ve noticed that every time I needed an
answer, it comes at the perfect moment. That’s why God hates it when we
worry because He is in our past, present and future and as long as we
surrender our lives to Him, obey and love Him, He will work ALL THINGS to
our good.

2. Never act out of your emotions. When you’re angry, choose to walk away
instead of reacting. I loved a moment I shared with my niece when we were
walking in the mall and we saw the store PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. Sometimes,
because of our emotions, we forget our truth, we act like animals. This 2019,
make your emotions your friends, sure sit with them, bring them up to God
but never make them your boss. God should always be your boss.

3. Listen to what God is speaking in the silence of your heart. Respect the
healthy boundaries you’ve put in place or you’ll end up regretting. You know
when you are compromising. You know when you’re cheating yourself. Don’t
go to there because there’ll come a time it’ll be much harder to recognize if
you are truly loving yourself with your choices. Love yourself at the onset.

4. Allow margin in your life. There was a time I had 8 appointments in one
day. It was crazy. Sometimes I am guilty of basing my worth on how busy I
am. Wrong. So wrong. I was sick for two weeks after that. I have learned to
only have 3 appointments in a day, have at least 1 full rest day in a week, and
really assess my motives for the things I do and things I say. Having the right
balance contributes so much to my overall well-being. It’s not how fast I
lived, but how well.

5. Recognize if it’s the devil and his tactics. Some people, when not
connected to the Holy Spirit, can easily be used as the enemy’s puppets.
When people irritate you, sometimes it’s just the devil using them to distract
you or to ruin your day. Choose the higher road, pray for them to feel God’s
love through you, and go about your merry way!

6. Live for the moments. Really taste the ice cream. Feel the wind on your face.
Enjoy the presence of your loved ones. Laugh your heart out. Dance. Sway to
the music. Sing. Play with babies. Do not let social media steal you away from
the real gifts of life.

I’ll send the next 6 in my next post and the last 6 on the following week. Installment.
😉 Enjoy the ride, my friend! 2019 will exceed your expectations! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I have been praying for my book for single women, and one idea that popped into my head is to interview children of couples who love and obey God, who prayed for wholeness when they were still single, who did not engage in physical intimacy prior to marriage and see how that worked out #forreals. I immediately thought of kids of Brother Bo and Tita Marowe Sanchez. I am ever so grateful that they said yes to this interview and welcomed me into their home once again! The energy of their home has always been that of calm, peace and warmth. ☺

I had the privilege of sitting down and interviewing Bene and Francis for about an hour each. I was blown away by their wisdom and perspective on life matters given how young they are. I know they’re kids of Bro. Bo and Tita Marowe who are both fountains of youth (hehe) and wisdom but these two boys still left me in awe as I was listening to words coming flowing naturally from their hearts and spirits. I learned so much about their family and got even more inspired for my future family (half joke) and it excites me to know dear readers, that this article has the power to transform your family life (whether current or future) in a very very good way. God is always just waiting to partner with you in creating a home that’s heart and soul filling, and still tummy filling 😉

To my dear singles, please hold back when you or the person you’re dating still have to undergo so much healing, please do it for your future children and for the sake of having a happy marriage in the future that you truly desire, not the kind that you will only feel obliged to be a part of for the sake of the kids, because truth be told, they will just suffer alongside you.

Enjoy picking up nuggets of wisdom (there’ll be lots of them) from this interview. To make it even easier for you, I also added some bonus tips!

Let’s start with Francis Sanchez:

When I asked him what he remembers most about his childhood, he said he remembers those times his parents would sing to them before they sleep. Songs like “Close to You” and other songs Bro. Bo would create himself (lol). He also remembers those times he would argue with his Kuya Bene over what movie to watch for their weekly movie night. He loves Jurassic Park and Kuya Bene hid it to tease him and until now he cannot find it. They intentionally carve out time, they express their love generously, they have fun and they also annoy each other. Kewl! 😉

TIP 1: Commit to a consistent time together doing something fun on a weekly basis. Perhaps, board game night? Movie night?

When I asked Francis to describe their family life, he tells me how much he enjoys spending time with his Kuya Bene, his mom and his dad, how he loves listening to their stories about what happened to them during their week. How he also enjoys their board games together, and how much he looks forward to his weekly dates with his dad.

TIP 2: When you are eating together, put down your phones (I once posted a quote on FB: “Internet and gadgets should bring us closer when we are apart, but not pull us apart when were actually together”) and really be present with your loved ones, treasure your time together and ask one another “how was your week?” “what’s your most favorite part of the week?” “What do you think can make next week even more fun and productive for you?” Engage in quality and interesting conversations with your family, it is food for the soul. You may even assign someone who think of a question for dinner and everyone has to take a turn to answer it. It may hurt at the beginning because it is not what we are used to, but isn’t it the kind of pain that’s always worth it? Let’s fight for our relationships! It’ll make us the happiest, anyway!

When I asked him how he perceives his parents’ relationship, he said they’re opposites. He said his mom is fast and his dad is slow (hahaha) but that’s how they best connect and complement one other. He also says he doesn’t see them fighting, that they’ve accepted each other’s quirks, and that he has witnessed their patience towards each other. They would have petty arguments like when his dad would lose their passports but they patch things up easily.

When asked what role his dad plays in his life, he said his dad is his source of peace because he’s always so calm so when he worries about things, his dad helps him a lot. Bro. Bo also taught him to empathize with others, he says his dad is a very understanding person. He listens not to respond but to really understand.

When asked what role his mom plays in his life he said she is his teacher because she helps him understand what is right from wrong. He also says that his mom is very open about everything (what she thinks, believes and what she learns from the gospel). He tells me that they have scripture time together. His mom also taught him that being first isn’t what’s important but doing the right thing is.

Tip 3: Carve out scripture time together. Maybe watch a video together (bible project is soooo cool or get a devotional for kids?) I heard one Godly congresswoman say that they use traffic as their scripture time as a family when they bring kids to school. Isn’t that the best way to send them off?

Francis said his parents are always there for him so he knows he can always go to them when he needs to ask something and they guide him most especially in the big moments of life. He really feels their support and that they’re really interested in his life.

Tip 4: I think it’s important to really be interested in them, and not our agenda for them. This is tough. Kids need to have a safe place where they can share their thoughts, heart and just about anything. Let’s ask God for help to be their safe vulnerable place where they can fully be their imperfect selves and be unconditionally loved and accepted, while being guided to be better and better.

I asked him what makes him cry and from the top of his head, he said it’s the movies and also when he has to cram for school because they travel a lot. It’s so funny when he said every time he is stressed over school work he goes to his dad, because when he goes to his mom he’ll be reminded more because she’s his teacher (lol). I find this amazing because a lot of kids cry because of deep-seated problems in the family. I pray for kids to really only have problems for kids.

I asked him the impact of his relationship with his parents to his other relationships and he said his dad is very understanding and patient so he tries to be the same way with his friends. I see Francis with other kids around him and I really see how he puts others first. He said his dad is a listener and a follower even if he’s a leader. As for his mom, she always tries to be better at everything, he sees her read mom blogs and all that. He gets really inspired by their example.

Tip 5: The kids always watch how we live our lives. They refer to our actions subconsciously when making their own decisions. Let’s keep asking ourselves: “When my kids are in the same situation and think about how I am acting now, would I want them to do the same thing I am doing? Am I providing the right example for them? Am I inspiring them to live well?”

When asked about what he likes about himself, he said he likes that he is grateful and he tries his best not to take anything for granted. As for what he wants to improve, he wants to be more obedient, that he’ll do more of what he says he will do. Really self-aware right?

I love his answer when I asked him how he sees problems, he said he sees them as challenges wherein God is asking Him to trust Him more.

Wow, just wow. What he said will help me forever! Thank you Francis!

I asked his perspective on the following by completing the sentence:

Life is… a journey full of obstacles and blessings
People are…misunderstood because motives behind their actions are usually good but we don’t easily see it (uhm are you really 13, Francis? Another quotable quote for all time!)
My relationships…are fun. I try to help them enjoy! (so giving and this is so true, I have witnessed him myself!)

I asked about his ideal future and he gave a clear picture of it. He sees himself writing plays/movies and playing a character in a musical.

Tip 6: I believe when parents are involved and supportive of their kids’ passions, talents and dreams, it’s much easier for them to know what they want. As the bible said, “Train up a child the way he should go.” Proverbs 22:6 Not the way we want them to go. ☺

When asked what he wants his future family to be like..
He wants his future kids to go to regular school to learn to make friends and then try homeschool if his future wife would like to teach. He wants to make sure also that the kids won’t move far away from parents because that is what usually happens nowadays.

Thank you Francis, as young as you are, you’re gift to both kids and adults alike. I am so excited for how you will create your own plays/musical someday which I’m sure will be a whole lot of fun but very meaningful and helpful as well. Thanks for being one of the best students I have ever encountered.

BENE SANCHEZ

When you see Bene, you already know that he is a young man of depth and substance. I asked him if he knew the purpose of my book for single women and further explained it to him. He gave me his two cents which to me was more of a million dollar insight.

He said most often than not, when a child has problems, it can almost always be traced to his parents who don’t have a relationship with God because they see their children only as their own, not as God’s child they’re called to steward. This leads them to determine who their child will become even if that won’t suit him, they compare their child to other kids, they lay down their expectations to their child. They could no longer see what God sees in their child. Sometimes parents have all these layered masks that get lashed out on their child. Deep real stuff right? Made me reflect on my thoughts when I was 18? Never mind!

So many people are walking like zombies because they weren’t directed to God’s heart and will for their lives. If you’re a parent reading this, do not fret, I believe God made you perfect for your child. But it takes dependence and reliance on Him and then obedience on what He tells you. Yes, God still speaks, sometimes the signal isn’t just very high because we do things that separate us from Him but He pursues relentlessly nevertheless! Hopefully, even through this article. We need not fear ever His will because He desires life in abundance for all of us. (see 1 Cor 2:9) I once asked a mentor, what if the person wants to have all the pleasure the world gives and just repent when he dies because God is gracious, isn’t that a wise thing to do, to have the best of both worlds? And his answer was…sure anyone can do that, but what he’s doing is depriving himself of a FULL LIFE, in its truest and most fulfilling sense!

So much more to learn from Bene!

I asked about his growing up years and he said it didn’t feel normal because he grew up in a spiritual community and he didn’t really understand it when he was a child. He said the good thing about his dad was that he never forced anything. He never forced him to love God. He said that both his parents, aside from their human moments, had incredible patience with him. He came to know Jesus more through the youth ministry he leads now, but he said it’s more of like a top feather already, because his parents really prepared him.

TIP 7: We all want people around us to know Jesus, but the way to do that is to reflect the love and joy of Jesus to them, through how we treat them and the lives we live. In every moment, let’s pray for pure love for people around us.

Bene also reiterated what Francis said, their dad listens to understand, and not to respond. How He’s also inspired by how Bro. Bo lets things be when things are not going his way. I believe that’s a result of his deep trust in God’s love for him.

TIP 8: When you start to be anxious or you start to worry about something, immediately shift. It’s like a mind muscle that you need to always work out. Close your eyes, lift up your head, smile widely and say out loud: “God has it all figured out.” What a powerful exercise this will be!

He recounts his dates with his dad before when he’d do most of the talking. Bro. Bo would be patiently listen to him talk about anime or music theories, even if those things don’t really interest him. Now he beams as he tells me they’re the loudest people in the coffee shop because their interests have intersected. Hallelujah for Brother Bo!!! Hahaha! They now talk in depth about theology and church systems.

It amazed me also when he said that the pressure to be like his dad always came from outside,

“the pressure never came from my parents, ever.”

He saw how his parents really trusted in God when it comes to his process of knowing Him.

Tip 9: Let’s entrust people to God, He loves them more than we ever will. Then continue doing our part in giving them the gift of our time, attention and presence, again without any agenda except to love them.

He perceives his parents’ relationship to be really awesome because his mom can sometimes get freaky but his dad has always been patient and understanding (lol). He says that their family isn’t perfect especially during the early years when him and his mom would always fight because their personalities are too similar. He never understood his dad’s response because he seemed so aloof to all their fights. They had a heart to heart talk about it and now he understands how his dad would go to his mom after their fight, and comfort his mom and then they talk about it. His dad also said sorry to him that he felt that way. But now he genuinely understood that his dad actually suffered alongside them. His dad was always firm but with so much love.

He’s firm with what is right and wrong, there is no sweeping things under the rug, that’s for sure. He was always consistent with his approach, he never changed, and he always does things with so much tenderness.

He observes how his mom does so well for how she honors and appreciates his dad. When he comes home so tired, she’s there to serve him (because his love language is service) so she brings him snacks or gives him a massage and she’s always there to support him with all sorts of problems.

“They’re always a team. What marks their relationship is listening and respect. Their marriage is phenomenal.”

Tip 10: For singles, don’t you want your children to say this someday about your marriage? Choose someone you really respect with all your heart and whose values you trust, someone you’d be confident to team up with him for the rest of your life. Remember, this provides your kids a solid and stable foundation.

When I asked how they raised him, he said they changed hats to be exactly what he needed. He sees his mom as his playmate, comforter and made him feel that she’s really proud of him. She also always pushes him out of his comfort zone, she wants me to experience different things like swimming and art and all sorts of other things. He said his parents do things with so much love and always at the right time.

“Their intention in general is to love me.”

His dad led by example, he allowed Bene to simply figure it out. Bene said it was easy for him to figure out what he wants to do, to piece the things he likes together. His parents are very generous according to him, not just to their family, but to everyone and to each other. His dad is also his confidant because he is doing a lot of things that his dad has done for many years so his wisdom and understanding are really helpful.

He said he learned integrity/wholeness from his dad. To go for the longer route, the right thing, with everything and everyone.

He knew they had no formula because he was their first child, they just trusted God and really loved him.

“It’s so much easier when you’ve experienced God’s love and you abide by God’s love, even if they were frazzled with me, they did everything to make it work.”

I asked him how his parents helped him most in life and he said IDENTITY.

“Because I know a lot of people don’t have that luxury of having two parents who love each other so much, and it’s hard to find identity when you come from a background where there is little love. I know that I am loved and I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Purpose of my life is to give selflessly like how my dad and mom are with with me and Francis. They always put themselves, their desires, their will, their emotions, their logic, everything at the back burner if any of that interfered with loving me and Francis, or loving one another.”

What a healthy world it’ll be if people were brought up not needing to prove anything to others, when they feel enough. Parents’ job is crucial, single season is so important to be filled up with God’s love and to overflow to your own children someday. So many people get into a relationship to fill a lack and this ripples down to their children. A healthy relationship with God is the only solution.

Bene also sees himself having a deeper relationship with Jesus,

“where he is submerged in His love from head to toe”

as he sees in his parents.

When asked what he likes about himself, he said his ability to think critically and strategically.
When asked how he sees problems, he said it is solvable, but it just takes time.
When asked to complete the following phrases:

My life… is FOR LOVE.
People are…COMPLEX
My relationships are..GETTING BETTER.

When I asked him about a man and a woman’s role in marriage? He says to love like Jesus, which is “selfless giving in a personal fashion”. God made us so unique so His love will be expressed in many different ways as well!

I asked what are the things he’d apply in his own family someday…

“give selflessly to my family the same way my dad does , lead them towards Jesus, kids to know Jesus, love Him and experience His love, to create a home filled with love and acceptance and bravery , there is a challenge, there is a calling. Life’s fun because there’s a calling, it’s an adventure.”

He also talked about the cultural pressure and thinking that fulfillment is found when one person gets married. He disagrees with that because fulfillment is found in one’s calling.

“Fulfillment begins and ends with stepping into what it means to be an image of God.”

Jaw-drop.

Bene also said a side note for single women, to find someone selfless because as his mom always says, the reason why she’s able to become selfless is because she experiences it from Brother Bo. Find a man who truly experienced God’s love because he’ll be coming from a space of giving, without any agenda but to obey God’s call to love.

He said his true joy comes from trusting God, everything else is secondary to that. When I ask what he looks forward to the most in the future he says a
generation of young people who love Jesus.

Woohoo there is much hope for this world!!!

They’re a family after God’s own heart. Marriage is such a powerful reflection of God’s love that’s why the devil is doing everything to destroy, as early as possible, through singles getting together while they’re still very much broken.

Dearest singles, let’s continue working on our character to be more and more Christ like because that’s what marriage requires. For married people reading this, I pray for your family to be a reflection of heaven on earth.

Bene, THANK YOU FOR LOVING JESUS, most especially through loving the youth he entrusted you to lead and love. You truly have God’s mind and I am so excited for this country, for the future, knowing people like you are helping shape it in powerful and profound ways. For my children someday, thank YOU. Haha!